Ever since coming here, I have been grappling for ways to overcome the mosquitoes; to somehow keep them from constantly swarming, drinking my blood, and driving me crazy without having to hide under my net all of the time. I have tried mosquito repellent, citronella spray, plug-in things that fill the air with poison, water lily oil, etc. All have been enough to keep the mosquitoes a tiny bit at bay but they also give me headaches. I started to realize, however, that whenever I ignored the mosquitoes, they seemed to ignore me, too. I started just saying “hi” to them all instead of trying to squash them in an angry tizzy. And miraculously, my mosquito bites have dramatically diminished, and I am dramatically calmer…and less smelly since I only occasionally feel the need to use an oil or spray.
I have realized these mosquitoes are a metaphor for a lot in my life. Missing people, heartbreak, stress, worries, changes, aches and pains, etc, are all much easier to get along with if I simply stop trying to make them “go away.” They don’t go away. If I start to think that they have or will, they get worse and I end up in a heap of tears and pulling muscles. Noticing things without judging them or trying to change them in any way is concept taught in yogic philosophy. It is a habit to be cultivated slowly, but very effective…at least for me.
Also, I recently read in one of my yoga books that food is for thought, liquids are for energy, and fats are for the power of speech. Sit on that idea for a minute. Usually I try to keep fats at a minimum, but have noticed that I have a lot to write about in my journal after eating something fried or oily. I have a lot more to say to myself than usual…India seems to be squeezing every little ache and pain in my heart out of me one large and meaningful drop at a time.