Poked

I have been battling some amenorrhea for some time now, going months and months without any dramatic fluctuations in mood, unnecessary swelling or bloating, nagging worry erupting in fits of tears. I wonder if it is the travel, the changes in life circumstances, the yoga, the fertility-abraisive environment. Whatever it is, my cycle likes to take long holidays now. The bleeding that releases, that reminds me of my female abilities, that clarifies and wrings out my emotions, does not come. And has not come since I have gotten to India.

I am not too worried about it. It is nice to feel such...stability. I have forgotten about my cycle, and therefor all of my emotions are valid for exactly what they are and not attributed lazily to the burden of womanhood. If things continue as they are now, I know I have powerful options to consider when I eventually return to the West. For now, however, my buddy Dave, trained Acupucturist and healer, is attempting to treat my "condition".

Tattoos, body art, scary movies and pleasant pediatric experiences have dulled any fear of needles, so that part was fine. Dave talked excitedly about the philosophy of what he was doing as he poked, turned, adjusted and checked. I, a little nervous for my first experience with Chinese medicine, talked excitedly as well. Suddenly all the gibberish he'd been spouting at breakfast was all I wanted to hear at the moment. When the needles were removed, we talked some more, he asked me how I felt. Fine. As we dug a little deeper into the philosophy of his approach to my situation, I asked him if there were any acupressure points for worry, since I seem to have a chronic worry and list-making problem. He showed me, and I rubbed a little, and immediately burst into the wild frenzy of tears that often precedes my "lady days". I laid back down and sobbed and blubbered for a couple of hours while Dave rubbed funny little sore spots on my body, particularly the spot directly over my solar plexus (a major chakra point that governs will and relation to others), which has been cold to the touch for months now. He and I related and discussed, and over the next day or two I filled my journal with the mental and emotional epiphanies filling my head and heart to overflowing.

We shall see how it goes with the bleeding, and I still have a few treatments to go before Dave runs out of needles, but for now, I feel lighter, less knotted, and more empowered.